An Unaccepted Proposal
by writeahobby
Summary: Post-war. Draco makes a desperate attempt to save their relationship when Hermione decides that they've reached the end. How will the end turn out? DHR oneshot! R&R!


**An Unnaccepted Proposal**

A/N: Not mine. Never has been and never would be. The only thing I own is the plot! J.K's the one you should thank for creating such wonderful characters for us to play with!

Summary: It's the end of the war. Draco and Hermione are in a clandestine relationship. Draco makes a desperate attempt to save their relationship when Hermione decides that they've reached the end. How will the end turn out?

* * *

"So... what do you think?" he asked, eyes weary and anxious as he clasped his hands together over his knees while he sat there, looking at her and waiting for an answer.

"It's beautiful." She said in one breath, sitting too still and upright for his taste; her expression, devoid of any emotion.

A pregnant pause permeated the air.

He was looking at her face, searching for any reaction at all. She was sitting across from him in her home, posture ramrod straight and still as a statue worthy of display.

"But I can't accept it." She declared all at once, breaking the silence that momentarily filled the room.

He'd had enough. He was too tired of this – whatever it was that they seemed to have. He wouldn't give her the satisfaction of seeing him react. But he couldn't stop himself to ask the question..."Why?" as he looked into her eyes, probing, hoping that this time, she would at least give him a concrete answer.

"Because you're not a part of my plan." She said, avoiding his steel gaze and staring past his head on the wall, knowing that if she looked into his grey mercurial orbs, she wouldn't be able to look away.

"You never were..." she continued; gaze downcast and unable to look up.

"Everything's all about you and your bloody life plan." the words spilled out of him before he could stop himself.

"It's the only way I know how to live my life and feel in control, Draco." her voice was full of anger now at his insensitivity and apparent lack of comprehension.

That was the only thing he needed to finally let loose and explode.

"After everything we've been through!" he raged as he stood up and paced in front of her, arms flailing in frustration.

"Have you never stopped to think that life can't be living by a stupid bloody plan? That life is something more than a prepared list of things that should happen? And something more than what people expect you to do? Your plan isn't engraved in stone Hermione. Things change! You don't get to decide your own fate, much less create your own destiny!"

"And you were supposed to be the smartest witch of our age." He scoffed, hoping to wound her pride and make her realize her fault.

She fumed. But it wasn't because he'd just insulted her. His selfishness was beyond what could be considered healthy. And she proceeded to tell him that though she chose to remain seated and gave him her most hateful glare. She wanted to point out that these rows that they had was one of the reasons of her refusal but didn't mention it out loud.

"Selfish? _You're_ calling _me_ selfish?" he said, exasperated. She was absolutely unbelievable. Yet he loved that about her. And he was more determined now more than ever to make her realize her mistake by throwing him out of her life just to _follow_ her plan. Bloody stupid plan. It was just like her to overlook matters that went against her organized plan of a life. Even though it was hell of a lot better than what she planned. She was still determined to stick to it. Stubborn wench.

He started telling her how he just asked her to spend the rest of their remaining lives in matrimony or whatever she'd want to call it and yet she refused again. He told her about all the times he'd been patient and understanding of her constant refusal because it wasn't in her plan. He told her that he understood her need to try to seize and control life but it just didn't work that way. Life was spontaneous. It was meant to be that way. And her bloody stupid plan would grant it no exception.

She merely sat in her place, listened to his every word, her lips set in a thin line, and her face, yet again devoid of any expression or reaction to his tirade.

"Are you done with your tirade Malfoy?" she asked, her voice carried the strain of tension in her exhaustion.

He merely stood there, looking at her with an unbelieving stare, tight lipped as he nodded. He hated it when she reverted back to using surnames instead of their given names.

"Has it never crossed your mind that I am going through with this plan not only for myself but for the greater good?"

A bemused expression plastered on his face as he tried to contemplate what she just said.

"Apparently not." She continued; her hands folded across her lap as she straightened her posture once more.

She proceeded to tell him that lives were lost in the war, people they knew and people they don't suffered from their losses. They needed something to be happy about, something that would remind them that death wasn't the only thing that existed to plague their lives. That was why she chose to go through with her plan. That was why she chose to marry Ronald Weasley because that was what everyone always thought would happen in the end. And deviating from her plan of a happy marital life with Ron, that everyone expected, to marry Draco Malfoy – suspected death eater because of his relations – would not provide anyone with any hope for happiness at all. What it would do, if she chose the latter, was to crush the rebuilding hopes of everyone that they could begin a new life. They were never supposed to be together in the first place and the short time that she accommodated his warmth in her bed was the time in her life where she simply acted without thinking of the consequences. It was all a mistake.

He was outraged by her audacity to even suggest that what had transpired between them during times of darkness was a mistake. He certainly had to immediately rectify her determination to sacrifice her own happiness in favour of what she called 'the greater good'; especially that gangly git who deserved not a hair from her glorious mound of curls that hung just below past her shoulder blades. No, he wasn't going to allow her to commit a grave mistake he knew she would regret forever.

"And how do you feel about doing this _noble_ sacrifice for the _greater good_ that you call? How does it give you control in living your life?" he spat.

Hermione didn't really give it much thought from the start. She never really considered how _she_ would feel. What she had in mind was just to go about the plan she mapped out in her life earlier on, before the war ever broke out. She didn't know how to answer him because the fact was, if she would consider how _she_ felt, it would only create hesitations in her mind. This, whatever they had, wasn't planned. She had decided and she wouldn't let anything change that decision, even her own feelings because they both scared and enthralled her. Going through with her plan made her feel safe and in control and going in a direction that she would have eventually arrived at. Truth is, life with Draco just wouldn't be able to provide that. Life with Draco would be unpredictable. There were no expectations and no plans; everything was spontaneous and she loved that – she would have loved that if she chose to be with him but she couldn't. Hermione Granger's life has always been pre-planned and she won't let anything, as charming and irritating as Draco Malfoy, steer her emotions to deviate from her plan.

She couldn't answer him; she knew if she would, their conversation would never lead to a close. So instead of giving him a response, she only stared straight into the wall behind him.

"Look at me Hermione." He whispered; words so gentle as he knelt in front of her and held both of her hands which up until now, she haven't realized were wringing together tightly.

And she did. In that split second of surrender when she succumbed to the tone of pleading and desperation in his voice - the vulnerability that was so palpable on its own - led her to regret her choice. What faced her, as she took in the sincerity of the affections that he was offering – which were clearly mirrored in his eyes as he held her gaze – led her to doubt the decision she has decided to take.

This man who was kneeling before her was the only one in this world who could make her momentarily forget all the rules, all the pain and suffering, and instead fill that gap with wonderful bliss of not only happiness but peace as well. He was capable of making her feel all and every kind of emotion that exists and even some that are unnamed, all at once! He could make her feel alive, desired, loved, and wanted! It was very unlike the world of reality that just felt too cold and too far removed. The time that they were living in was filled with grief and mourning. Everyone needed a safe haven to go to at the end of the day and as much as Hermione denied it, after her parents' deaths, the warm embraces of comfort that her friends offered weren't the ones that truly gave her any sense of solace or peace. It was Draco's arms that provided her comfort from all this grief and yet she was willing to let that all go for the only reason that they – the idea of she and Draco instead of she and Ron – wouldn't be well received. But she couldn't afford to be selfish. The world gave her more than everything she deserved; including her life. She wouldn't be ungrateful so as to turn her back on them and elope with the enemy. For even as she knew that the true Draco wasn't as evil as people pegged him to be, the mark he bore on his forearm would forever cast him away in society. Too much would be sacrificed if she chose Draco Malfoy, son of the mass murderer and second in command to Lord Voldemort himself, Lucius Malfoy. And she couldn't afford to commit that sacrifice.

The world just wasn't ready to receive them, their affections for each other, and merlin forbid, their love. People wouldn't understand. Her friends wouldn't understand. And the last thing that she wanted for the closest people in her life to feel was betrayal. No, she couldn't afford such a big sacrifice and betray the people that needed her. She could only afford this small sacrficice whose casualty would only would her and Draco Malfoy.

She summoned her greatest strength despite the tears that were already threatening to fall from her eyes as she held his hand for the last time and looked into his eyes.

"Draco...I have to do this..." she began.

"I need you to understand that I'm not as strong as you think. I couldn't just turn away from everyone, leave them now, just right after blood has been shed. If only I could...I really would Draco. But I need to do this. Not for myself. But for them."

By now, tears were already staining her cheeks as Draco loosend her hold on his hands as he stood and gazed into her cinammon orbs for the last time and said, "They don't deserve you Hermione Granger. And maybe I don't as well. But I need you to know and understand that...I love you...so much that it hurts. And I hope that you're aware that when I leave, you're heart won't be the only one that's broken."

As she watched him turn away from her and out through her door, effectively walking out of her life, she broke down into uncontrollable sobs. She had finally gotten him to understand and she knew, that this would be the last Draco Malfoy would ever attempt to find a place in her life ever again. She feared that she has finally broken his heart into pieces that went beyond the capability of magic to repair. She knew this for hers was as damaged as his would most definitely be the moment he let go of her hand and walked out of her flat.

* * *

A/N: This was actually written ages ago and I've just decided on a whim to finish it and publish it here. Would really appreciate your thoughts on this! I'm sorry that the end wasn't happy...still R&R please?


End file.
